"That was her... This is me..." A forever fat girl's story.

The only time I ever remember not struggling with my weight was elementary school. Well, let me rephrase that. The only time I really remember not being a "bigger girl" was elementary school. I never really saw my weight as a struggle. I always had friends, my family never put me on a diet, I didn't have a hard time going up stairs or anything, I was active for my age. I played softball and basketball and while yes I probably would have been better had I had been thinner, it was never a hindrance that I can remember. I do remember in 6th grade my dad came into town and wanted to get me and my sister school clothes. He had to take me to the women's department and I was in a size 12 shorts. I remember that that was embarrassing and I cut all the tags out of the clothes, but I didn't let it define me.
The one thing I do believe that it hindered was and is my ability to let a guy in. I never really felt pretty or attractive and I mostly played the role of "best friend" with most guys I was close to. A good guy friend once told me that "I'm not the type of girl a guy dates, I'm the type that they marry." I remembered being crushed, a. because I thought that this guys was "the one" (high school puppy love) and b. how can I get married if no one will ever date me. I got comfortable in this role of being the best friend and have stayed there.
In May of 2010 and being 27, I needed a change. I had moved to Nashville to pursue music business. I had found, after searching, a great group of good quality friends that love me and support me. Still something wasn't right. I needed to learn how to love myself. To feel good about myself. I needed to find that confidence inside of me that I knew I had but never could find. It was time to lose some weight.
Deciding this, I knew I couldn't do it on my own. I had tried before and nothing ever really stuck. I knew a couple of things... I loved dancing. The community center in Nashville offered $2 Zumba classes. I then committed to going to at least 3 classes a week. Not so much for the fitness aspect of it, but for the fun of it.
Then came Beth, I have talked about her before (go back and read about her!) Beth became the accountability that I needed in the beginning. We met for coffee and decided that we were gonna do this thing. We talked about foods I liked and dislike, exercising that I was doing, reasons i think my weight go to where it did...etc. I opened up and shared my life with her and in turn she developed a plan to help me reach my goals.

May 17, 2010: The day I started my weight loss journey.
<---This picture is taken from a friends engagement party the weekend after I started my journey. I weighed in at 250lbs the largest I had ever been. Honestly, I felt like I was a contestant on The Biggest Loser, which I totally could have been. Stepping on that scale I knew there was no turning back. I had made a promise to myself that this is the last time I would ever weight that much. It was game time.


I began to meet Beth at her house at 5am. It was the only time that worked best with our schedules. I'd bring my work clothes and shower stuff and she would literally kick my butt for 1 1/2- 2 hours Monday thru Friday. On weekends I would do my own workout taking what I loved (zumba) and the other stuff she had taught me and applying them for myself.
Working out became a big part, but the biggest was my eating habits. I ate out a lot! Living in Nashville and working multiple jobs and hating the grocery store will lead you to that! It was nothing to stop by Taco Bell at 10pm... or to stop by the store and grab a carton of ice cream... it was bad!
Thankfully I'm not too picky when it came to food. After talking with Beth I decided to quit dairy, back off of the carbs and focus on more vegetables and fruit. I made a plan for myself... lots of water, 5 meals (3 meals, 2 snacks) planned out with times, and no eating after 8pm. Strangely, the food came waaaaaaayyyyy easier than the exercise.
Was everything perfect? No. Did I screw up? Heck Yes. Did I give up? Absolutely Not. When I fell off the wagon I didn't let it get me down. I got back up and just restarted. Like I said working out was so hard if it wasn't doing zumba. I ABSOLUTELY hated to run. Thought it was pointless, boring, lame... everything you can think, i thought it, but I didn't give up. And if you know me now you know that I am a running addict!

<---This is me now... about 9 months into my weight loss journey. At this point I have lost 81lbs. I am at 169. Is there a magic pill? Nope. Is it obtainable? Abso-freakin-lutely. :) If I can do it I promise you anyone can. My goal is to lose 100lbs by my birthday which is in July. I am 19lbs away! I'm going to treat myself with a cruise with my dear friend who is also on a weight loss journey that you can read about here.


I would love to answer any questions that you may have or hear stories about your journey. I would love to offer you motivation in someway... maybe a playlist that helps me get through a 5k, or what foods I like, or classes at the Y that I recommend! Please comment on here, message me on facebook! You can even email me! Let me know how I can help you!
My journey is not over, while I feel healthier I'm still working on the mental side of it. My head hasn't caught up with my body yet. I still and maybe will always view myself as a "fat girl" and I'm ok with that. But I hope to be able to share my story with others to help them to become the best that God has created them to be with the tools that I have have helped me!

SO yeah... That's my story and I'm stickin to it! And now that you know the back story, I hope to share some funny things that are happening in my life, little things that happen through-out my day, boy stories- cause who doesn't love a good boy story, and things that I find could help/ motivate others. So now I have been in Starbucks for 2 hours and out of a beverage so I should probably head out... until next time!

Love.